Despite the gloomy title, this is actually a love song to my wife. Marriage isn’t easy. There is no one in the world that knows you more intimately, vulnerably than your spouse. They see you at your worst. “Dark Clouds” is about the truth I cannot see when I’m blinded by the dark clouds of pain, anger, pride, or selfishness. The truth is that behind ALL of my dark clouds, there is love generating healing, peace, joy and righteousness in me but I just don’t see it all the time. I don’t always center my life on it and live out of that truth.
I wrote the song after a hard conflict with my wife that ended with us both feeling hurt, walking away from each other, and not resolvinganything. I sat down thinking, “what went wrong? Why do we keep getting caught in these downward spirals? Why can’t we communicate? Why can’t I attune to her needs? Why can’t I just keep my stupid mouth shut?” I sat down at the piano, not thinking, cool, I’m hurt and super ticked off so how about I write a love song for my wife! I just sat down and started playing to relax myself and process the evening. The chords and melody came first, then the lyrics began to formulate as I started asking myself, “what is it that you REALLY want to say? You said a lot of hurtful things because you are hurting inside, too, but not because that’s what you really think.”
So, I wrote this song as a confession that I have at times treated my wife horribly—I’ve been an absolute monster. I also wrote it as a reminder to myself when I feel ashamed of my actions or feel hurt from her actions toward me, that deep down I love my wife more than anyone else in the world. And it reminds me of the promise that God’s love is surrounding us even when we’re fighting and He is actually there, present with us, mending all of our wounds.